| Edition |
2nd ed. |
| Description |
1 online resource (296 pages) |
|
text file |
| Contents |
Acknowledgments; Part One: Our Lifelong Search For Truth; Chapter one: Caught Unaware; Facing loss once more; The "A" word; The dreaded event; The search intensifies; The first contact; The reunion that was sure to be glorious; Goodbye fantasy; Kept at arm's length; What was I doing wrong?; Glad to be caught; Chapter two: Preparing to Grow; The "V" word; How the victim mentality begins; A portrait of a victim; Liberation; Our new goal is an unshakable identity; Part Two: Twenty Truths and Twenty Choices That Can Transform; Chapter three: Thoughts about Our Birth Parents Are Innate. |
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Our first conversations with herOur first thoughts about her; Her lifelong impact; What about our birth fathers?; Our dual identity; How to begin; Chapter four: Painful Thoughts about Our Adoptions Are Normal; Where do painful feelings originate?; How to recognize painful adoption-related feelings; Words and statements that often produce painful feelings; How to begin; Learning about Adoption Dynamics Will Help Us Relax; The benefits of self-education; How to begin; Chapter six; Chapter six: It May Often Seem like No One "Gets It"; Walk away; It's private; Share; Educate; How to begin. |
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Chapter seven: Share Deep Feelings Only With "Safe" PeopleWhy trust can be difficult for us; Trust can be learned; Risk but beware; Three characteristics of safe people; How to begin; Chapter eight: We Can Control Our Anger ... Really!; Four reasons to welcome anger; Triggers for primary emotions; What will tame our anger?; How to begin; Chapter nine: We Can Get Unstuck from Our Painful Past; Ways we get stuck; Another way to think about pain; How to begin; Chapter ten: Many of Us Experience Echoes of Loss; The echoes we hear; Why some adoptees claim no painful repercussions; How to begin. |
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Chapter eleven: An Hour with a Fellow Adoptee Is Better than Weeks of TherapyWhy we love to be together; Why we need one another; How to begin; Chapter twelve: False Guilt Shouldn't Stop Us from Considering a Reunion; The messages of false guilt; Ways we can be liberated from false guilt; How to begin; Chapter thirteen: Search and Reunion May Become a Top Priority; The honeymoon stage of reunion; Five social media landmines; Questions to ask yourself; Reunion in retrospect; How to prepare for reunion; How to begin; Chapter fourteen: We Don't Need to Fear Seeming Ungrateful or Disloyal. |
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What we may believe about loyaltyHow to resolve loyalty issues; How to begin; Chapter fifteen: We Must Give Up Being Pleasers; Our quest for truth; The risks of searching; The rewards of searching; How to begin; Taking Concrete Steps toward Obtaining Our Pre-Adoption History Requires Courage ... We Can Do It!; Concrete steps for searching; How to begin; Chapter sixteen: When We Feel Overwhelmed We Must Be Gentle with Ourselves; Why are we overwhelmed at times?; How we nurture ourselves; How to begin; Chapter eighteen: Rejection Might Be Part of Your Adoptee "Rite of Passage"; We isolate ourselves. |
| Note |
The message behind their words. |
| Summary |
Adoption authority Sherrie Eldridge offers personal, life-affirming advice to adoptees who have mixed emotions about adoption. |
| Bibliography |
Includes bibliographical references and index. |
| Local Note |
eBooks on EBSCOhost EBSCO eBook Subscription Academic Collection - North America |
| Subject |
Adoptees -- Psychology.
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Adoptees -- Psychology. |
|
Adoptees. |
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Adoption -- Psychological aspects.
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Adoption -- Psychological aspects. |
| Genre/Form |
Electronic books.
|
| Other Form: |
Print version: Eldridge, Sherrie. 20 Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make, Second Edition. London : Jessica Kingsley Publishers, ©2015 |
| ISBN |
9781784500177 (electronic book) |
|
1784500178 (electronic book) |
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9781849057745 |
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